It seems like my motivation, since I left the hospital, is always falling down. Unless I’m doing something new and interesting, I’m unable to keep myself focused.
This is my reason to start the work on ruby-elf and the whole analysis thing. Unfortunately, doing the analysis that way does not seem to be the easiest way at all.
Add to that the missed challenge with C#. When I was first told I had to develop in .NET with C#, beside a first understandable visceral reaction to that, I was excited to the idea of learning a new language. It has been quite some time since I learn my last useful language. While I tried to learn LISP (ELISP to be exact), that is quite a bit jump for me, as I’m way too used to non-functional programming languages.
I’ve been wanting to look at ADA for quite a while, and after the last In Our Time podcast (I’m podcast-addicted lately), I decided it was the right time to at least start looking at the thing. It does sound quite interesting after reading a bit about it, so I’ll be trying to read about it in the next week in my spare time. It might come handy the next time I get a job to work on embedded stuff.
I admit I’m not sure how ADA support for SQL databases is, but if there is any kind of support, I’m tempted to rewrite part of my elf analysis code in ADA (and even if there is any, maybe I can do that to cowstat at least). The intrinsic support to multi-threading is what I’m more fascinated from, especially for things like cowstats that could easily analyse multiple file at once, rather than doing it sequentially.
I am really afraid of what the pancreatitis did to me on a spiritual/mental level, more than physical, lately. Not like the physical damage is nothing, it’s actually quite a lot; luckily I didn’t smoke or drink before, as now I can’t do it for sure (well, it wouldn’t have been good to do even if I didn’t have the pancreatitis, but who had similar experience knows what I mean ;) ). But the spiritual damage seems to be more than just fear to me. I really am thinking a lot of how much time I’m left, and how much I wasted my time before. I really wanted one day to find the right person, have a family, children, … and while the idea itself was already quite faint before (I’m too geeky to find a girl who can tolerate me), now it seems to be impossible altogether.
But nevermind this depressing thoughts, I sincerely think Summer of Code will give me at least something new to work on, with the students to mentor.. or at least I hope so ;) So please start working already on your applications!